Face Down
by Gurlynicole
Summary: "I don't want to lose control and hurt you. I know you think that I'd never hurt you, but I'm not so sure. I keep waiting for the day when something sets me off and I hurt you. And I can't stand the though of ever hurting you...
1. Don't Lie To Me

Another late night at the 1-6. Olivia Benson sat across from her partner, Elliot Stabler. They had worked all night on an abuse case. Olivia knew her husband, Steve, wouldn't be happy about her being home so late. She was still bruised from the last time they fought. It ended up like all the ones before it. He'd hit her then promise to never do it again. She knew he was lying, but could never bring herself to leave him. No one, not even the man she loved and trusted with all her heart, Elliot, knew Steve was abusive. She was too closed off for anyone to notice. At least she hoped so.

She looked up from her paperwork at the clock.

"Hey El, You mind giving me a ride home?" She asked, "Steve has my car." Elliot looked up and smiled at the woman he loved. Of course she didn't know he loved her. He was too scared to admit to her.

"Sure Liv." He said. He'd do anything for her.

They pulled house, but she didn't want to fight with Steve as soon as she walked into the door, so she looked over at Elliot.

"Hey El, you want a cup of coffee?" She asked. He glanced over at her then shut off the engine.

"Sure, why not." He replied and smiled. They got quickly out of the car and walked inside.

The dinning room light was on. Steve looked up from his whiskey.

"Bitch, you were suppose to be home 3 hours ago! You better have a good excuse or else!" He yelled. Elliot looked at Olivia in shock. Her eyes darted to him then down. She entered the dinning room. He followed slowly. He'd never heard Steve call her a bitch before. He wasn't sure what 'or else' meant either. Steve stood up when he saw Elliot come in behind his wife. He'd give her hell for this later when he was gone. She should know better than to bring **him** home with her.

"Hey Elliot, nice to see you." Steve said with fake sincerity.

"Ya, right." Elliot replied and looked at Olivia. She was shaking. He had seen that kind of shaking before, he knew what it meant.

"Liv can I talk to you outside for before I go?" He asked. Olivia looked at Steve, who nodded. Elliot was concerned. Was the woman he loved being abused?

"Sure Elliot, come on." She said and left the room. Elliot glared at Steve for a few seconds before he followed. That look confirmed his fears. He'd seen it too many times to miss. The question he had was why. Why her? He continued to think about this until they reached the garage. Once they were inside he said, "Olivia are you okay? You look scared and your still shaking." She looked down and noticed she was indeed shaking.

"I'm just cold I guess." she said nervously.

"Liv, please don't lie." He said. She looked at him as tears gathered in her eyes.

"El, I know what your thinking, he...he...wouldn't do that." She said shakily.

"Olivia, please, I know what is going on. Don't lie to me. Talk to me, I only want to help you." He said and tears began falling down her face. He pulled her into his arms.

"Shh, Liv, it's okay, he won't hurt you again. I promise." He whispered into her ear. She pulled away and gave him a sad smile.

"Liv, your going to press charges, right?" He asked and her sad smile faded.

"El, I...he's...he'll..." she began.

"Liv, please, you know what happen if you don't. He could kill you one day." He said softly.

"I know he wouldn't do that, he loves me." She said, fighting tears.

"No he doesn't. If he loved you, he would never lay a hand on you, ever!" He argued.

"He promised he'd stop." She whispered.

"Liv, we both know he won't stop until your dead." He replied sadly. She nodded. He was right, if Steve loved her, he wouldn't hurt her.

"Okay, I'll do it." She said and knelt to the ground, unable keep her tears at bay.


	2. The First Time

He knelt next to her and wrapped an arm around her. He pulled out his phone and called Fin.

_"What's up Elliot?" Fin asked._

"Fin, I need you and Munch to come down to Olivia's house and arrest her husband." Elliot said and Fin was silent for a moment.

_"What did he do to her?" he asked angrily._

"He's...abusing her, Fin, just get down here." Elliot said sadly.

_"We'll be there in five minutes. No one hurts my baby girl and gets away with it!" He yelled then hung up._

"What did he said, El?" Olivia asked desperately trying to distract herself from the pain that treating to drown her. No, one loved her, no cared about her, except Elliot. He looked at her, she was almost at her breaking point, he could see it.

"They'll be here in five minutes. He said 'no gets away with his baby girl and gets away it.'" he said. She looked over at him and smiled a real smile, not the fake ones he's been seeing lately.

"He really called me his baby girl?" She asked. He smiled.

"Yep, your like a little sister to him. He'd do anything to protect you. And so would I." He said and she laughed, then sighed.

"The first time he hit me, I tried to tell you, but I...I just couldn't. I don't know why. I thought someone actually loved me, I guess I was willing to do anything I had to keep that love. I've been alone for most of my life, and I guess I just...needed someone to love me. No matter what I had to go through, I still convinced myself that I was doing it for love, but I guess somewhere in my mind I knew I wasn't doing it for love. I did it because I was afraid of being alone for the rest of my life. But, when we got married, I actually felt happy for the first for the first time in my life. I felt like a first rate, beautiful woman, but now I feel like a third rate, whore that can only hurt the people she loves." She said softly, aware she was babbling. A few tears fell from her eyes as she layed her head on his shoulder.

"Liv...You'll always be a first rate woman and the most beautiful woman I'll ever see. Your the kindest, sweetest, most good-hearted person, I've ever met." He said softly.

"And Liv, how can you not see how beautiful you are to me? How can you not see that who you are now, and your past is why I love you so much?" He asked, before he realized he was speaking aloud. When he finally realized what he said, he was absolutely terrified. How would Olivia react?

"You...you really love me?" She whispered, silently begging that she wasn't going to hear a 'no'. He closed his eyes and prayed he wasn't about to make a complete fool of himself.

"Yes, Liv I love you, more than anything in the world." He said softly, waiting for her to slowly pull away and leave. But he was surprised when he felt her lean into him.

"I love you too." She whispered and looked up at him. He looked down into her big, brown eyes and he couldn't help himself. He put one hand on her cheek and watched as her eyes fluttered closed. He leaned down slowly until he gently touched her lips. She respond quickly, wrapping her arms around his neck. Pushing her lips closer to his, she felt him wrap his other arm around her. She could feel nothing but his body pressed against her, his kiss leaving her light headed. Kissing Elliot was like seeing the sun for the first time, absolutely amazing. His lips were soft, and his scent was irresistible. His hands were also soft, but somehow still rough and strong. His thumb stroked her cheek gently. His tongue begged for entrance and she gladly granted it. As she opened her mouth, his tongue darted in. It was like he was trying to taste every inch of her mouth, and she didn't mind, because she did the exact same thing when she got the chance. He tasted amazing.

"Hello you two."


	3. Someone Else

"Hello you two." Fin said, his voice frighting Olivia for a second before she realized he wasn't Steve. They pulled away quickly an stood up.

"Thanks for coming man. If I had tried to go near him, I wouldn't have been able to leave him alive." Elliot said anger evident in his voice. He'd kill Steve if he ever got the chance.

"Your welcome man. Liv you okay?" Fin asked, trying to look her over without being noticed and failing.

"I'm fine, and don't worry he won't get away with hurting your baby girl." She said and smiled softly. Fin glared at Elliot.

"Come on Liv, you need to have your statement taken." Elliot said and Olivia turned to look at him.

"Do I have to?" She asked, her fear killing him.

"You know you do Liv." Elliot sighed.

"Alright let's go." She said and sighed.

"Thank you Olivia." Captain Cregin said and handed Olivia a tissue. She gave him a sad smile and took it. she wiped her eyes and stood up. He led her out of the room. Elliot looked up at they entered. He noticed her puffy eyes, red from crying. He walked swiftly toward her.

"Are you alright?" he asked softly.

"I'll be fine. I just really want to get some sleep." She replied and gave him a soft smile.

"Olivia" Cregin called and she turned quickly to face her boss. "Is there anything you forgot to say, that might be needed in the police report?" He asked, and her eyes flickered uneasily from Cregin's face to Elliot's face.

"Liv, Elliot can I see you in my office?" Cregin asked and opened his office door. Olivia kept her eyes down as she entered. Elliot closed the door quickly and stode by her side.

"What's wrong, Liv?" He asked softly, tilting her chin up with his hand, so he could look into her troubled brown eyes. She simply closed her eyes and didn't answer.

"Liv, please, what is wrong?" He pleaded, his worried, protective tone flutter back open.

"There was someone else." She whispered and pulled away from Elliot's grasp. He was confused.


	4. Christan

"What do you mean?" He asked taking a step toward her. She sighed, she's really wanted to leave this part out.

"Steve's best friend, Christan, knew what Steve did to me and he threatened to call the police if Steve didn't . . didn't . . ." She stopped there and a small sob escaped her. Elliot died a little. He'd never seen her like this before today. She sounded so vulnerable. He couldn't take the sound of her pain.

"Didn't what?" Cregin asked from across the room, startling her for a moment. She shook her head and looked down.

"Let him rape me." She whispered. Elliot took her in his arms quickly, and she sobbed into his chest. He closed his eyes tightly and fought against the overwhelming pain that threatened to crush him.

Who could do something so horrible to someone so beautiful? How could someone take someone with so much beauty and hurt them like this? The room was silent aside from Olivia's sobs, muffled by Elliot's shirt.

He was startled when he heard the door close, he opened his eyes and looked around. They were alone. Don had given them some privacy. He looked down at Olivia, still sobing and shaking slightly, and his heart ripped into pieces.

No one should hurt like that.

He kissed her forehead and waited while her sobs subsided. She pulled her off his chest and looked around.

"Where's Cregin?" She asked.

"He left a few minutes ago." He replied and titled her chin back up with his hand. She stared into his blue eyes, and felt slighty better.

"Are you going to be okay?" He asked, whiping a peice of hair out her face. His hand lingered on her cheek. She ignored his question.

"Promise me something." She said.

"Anything" He replied and pulled her slightly closer.

"Promise to never hurt me," She whispered.

"I can't promise that."


	5. The Reaction

"I can't promise that." He started, but stopped when she tried to pull away.

"Let me finish. I can't promise you that, but I promise to try my hardest." He said softly. She looked up at him and nodded.

"I love you, Liv." He said, watching as a little more of the pain fell from her eyes.

"I love you, too El." She replied and layed her head against his his chest. His arms tightened around her, and her kissed her forehead. They stayed there, arms wrapped around each other, neither wanting to leave the safety of the office, and face the looks of sympathy.

Elliot sighed and pulled away, but grabed her hand. They had to go. She nodded and he opened the door, letting her hand go as she walked through.

It was worse than she imagined. The room quieted when she and Elliot entered. They had heard her. Great. She caught Cregan's eye and mouthed 'sorry about this' to her. She nodded and looked around the room.

"Where's John and Fin?" She asked looking back at Cregan.

"They went to get Christan." he answered and she visibly flinched at his name.

"I hope he dies a horrible, painful death!" someone shouted from across the room. There were mummers of agreement.

"No one hurts one of us and gets away with it!" someone else shouted and the room cheered their agreement. Olivia looked around the room and realized that even though she didn't personally know many of these people there, they still cared about her. She guessed it was because of how much she'd been through and how long she'd worked in Special Victims Unit. She was one of them and they looked out for each other. She smiled at them and glanced at Elliot. He knew she wanted to leave. They stared towards the doors, but stopped when Fin, John, and a hand-cuffed Christan walked in. They stopped and Christan glared at her.

"Your gonna pay for this, bitch." He sneered and she flinched. Fin pushed him toward the cells. She breathed deeply, trying to control herself. She started toward the doors again, but John stopped her. Fin came back towards them and asked "You okay baby girl?" She smiled at her newest nickname.

"I'm fine. What the hell happened to Christan?" She asked and he smiled.

"He was resiting arrest, I had to restrsn him." He said she shook her head, smiling. He could never lie convincingly to her.

"Uhuh, sure." she said and smiled again. Elliot came up next to her and glanced at the door. She nodded.

"We'll see you guys later." He said.

"Bye!" They called as Elliot and olivia walked toward the elevators.


	6. I Don't Want To Talk About It

Elliot struggled with the keys to his apartment and Olivia laughed. She took the keys out of his hand, grabbed the right key, and stuck it in the door. It turned and the door opened without a problem. He rolled his eyes and followed her inside. She slumped down on the couch and gave his a quick smile. It faded and she sighed. She put her head in her hands and Elliot sat down beside her. He wrapped her arms around her and pulled her against his chest. She went willingly and found comfort in his strong arms.

"What's wrong?" He asked, his breath tickling her ear.

"Nothing." She mumbled and closed her eyes. He sighed.

"Liv, baby, what's wrong?" He asked again. She turned her head and buried it in his shoulder.

"I don't wanna talk about it." She mumbled.

"Alright, but when you want to talk, I'll be here." He said and she nodded, loving the feeling of being pressed against him. She yawned and pulled her head back.

"I'm tired." she stated, waiting for him to show where she'd sleep. He stood up and led her to his bedroom.

"Here, It's all I've got, but it'll work. I'll be on the couch if you need me." He said and began to walk away. She didn't know weather to stop him and ask for him stay with her, or let him go.

In a split-second decision she grabbed his arm. She need him with her tonight. He stopped and turned.

"Stay. Please don't leave me alone." She whispered, feeling totally helpless. She was afraid and he knew it. He hadn't wanted to leave her alone, but wasn't sure what their new relationship was. He took her in his arms and she layed her head against his heart.

"I won't baby, I promise." He said softly, smiling when she relaxed, almost instantly, in his arms. He reached over and turned off the light, then led her to the bed. He coaxed her to lay down and as soon as he was next to her, she pulled herself against him and layed her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, and looked down.

Wow. She was so beautiful. In the moonlight, she was even more gorgous then usual. Her eyes shined and her face glowed. She looked like an angel.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked, looking up at him.

"How beautiful you are." He replied and she smiled. Even more beautiful than before. He leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"I love you, El." She said softly, snuggling closer to him and closing her eyes. The last words she heard before she drifted off were, "I love you, too, Liv. Always."


	7. I Don't Deserve You

Olivia woke-up, snuggled against Elliot. She looked up and noticed how peaceful he looked while he was sleeping. Most of his worry lines faded and there was a faint trace of a smile on his face. She traced his face, memorizing every inch of it.

Once she was finished, she thought about all that had happened yesterday. Steve had hit her, she'd gone to work, got home, Elliot found what Steve did to her, she told him she loved him, he told her he loved her, she admitted what Christan did to her, she realized how much everyone cared about her, came back to Elliot's place and slept next to him.

Then she thought about what she didn't tell Elliot last night. Which he would probley worry about.

She didn't want him to know what she REALLY looked like, covered in bruises and scars. She didn't want him to see everything Steve and Christan had done to her. Tears streamed down her face as she remembered what he'd called her last night. Beautiful. She wasn't beautiful. She knew it. The last time she looked at herself in the mirror, she realized she'd never be beautiful again. Every inch of her skin, that could be covered be clothes, were covered in bruises and scars. She looked horrible.

She didn't desirve Elliot either. She was worthless. She was ugly and unlovable. Nothing would change that. Once Elliot knew, he'd leave her, and she'd have no one. She'd be almost exactly like her mother.

A whore. Nothing more.

She didn't notice when her tears poured onto Elliot's chest or when he woke up. A small sob escaped her when she realized she'd all alone again soon. Once Elliot found out that she was worthless, he'd leave her and she wouldn't have anyone to go to.

"Honey, what's wrong?" He asked tightening his grip on her. She let out another sob at the sound of his voice.

He couldn't love her. not if he really knew what she was.

Receiving no answer, he asked again, "Baby, what is wrong? Please tell me." She still didn't answer and continued to sob. With every sob, his heart broke more and more.

"Liv, tell me." He pleaded a few moments later.

"I...I...I..." She tried to explain but couldn't get anything out. a few tries later, she pulled out of his arms and stood up. He stood too and tried to go comfort her, but she backed away from him.

"I'm not what you think I am." she whispered as her back hit the wall.

"What do you mean?" He asked, slowly making his way toward her.

"I'm not..I don't..I don't deserve you. I don't deserve to be happy. I am worthless." She whispered and slid down the wall. He stopped walking, and tried to reason with her.

"You deserve everything. Your not worthless, your priceless, a treasure." He said and carefully sat down next to her. She shook her head repeatedly.

"No I'm not. I'm nothing. I-" She started but Elliot covered her mouth with his hand.

"Yes, you **are** a treasure. You are NOT nothing, you are the most amazing woman I know." He said firmly, and removed his hand.

"I'm not beautiful either." She whispered and stood.

"Yes you are. " He disagreed and stood.

"No Im not, look." She said, and with tears still pouring, she slipped off her shirt, then pants. He looked in disbelief at the bruises covering her body. There wasn't any part of her, besides the parts that couldn't be covered, that wasn't covered in wounds.

"See, I told you." She cried and he pulled her into his arms. she fought him and he held on tighter.

"I don't care about the bruises, your still beautiful to me." He said and she stopped fighting.

"Your beautiful, loving, smart, and priceless. It's me who doesn't deserve you. Your too good." He whispered and she desperately wanted to believe him, but couldn't.

"I don't believe you." She whispered and he sighed, then got an idea. Actions spoke louder than words. He turned her around, then picked her up. She looked up at him in surprise, but suppressed the plea she was about to make when she saw his eyes. They were clouded with love, pain, passion, desire, and fear. He laid her down on the bed and climbed on top of her.

"You are everything to me, Liv. Your not worthless, or useless. Your everything good in the world." He whispered as he kissed her neck and caressed her bruises. She was about to disagree, but he stopped her with his lips.

"Listen to me Olivia. You are beautiful. You are loving. Your the only one in the world I can trust with everything. Your a great cop, and a good Friend. Your sexy and I love you. Nothing in the world will ever change how I feel about you. Nothing can change how I see you. Not Steve, or Christan, or anyone else. There is nothing that could keep me away from you." He whispered and fresh tears made their way down her face.

"You really mean that?" She asked and he could tell she was beginning to believe him.

"Of course I do, and if you ever think otherwise, I'll show you how wrong you are." He said and she pulled his lips back to her.

She was beautiful. She was worthy of him. He did love her.

She pulled away slightly.

"Make love to me, El, please." She begged and he did, over and over, and over again.


	8. A Good Morning

Elliot awoke to Olivia sleeping soundly next to him. He stroked her cheek softly, then rapped his arm back around her. He still didn't understand how she could think so little of herself. She was an amazing woman and everyone knew it.

It was probably her mother's, Steve's, and Christan's fault. They probably always put her down and she started to believe that she was what they called her. He always knew she was more. He looked down at her again and didn't see any traces of the pain, he saw only hours earlier, when she was telling him how worthless she thought she was. She finally seemed to believe that she was worth loving. She was beautiful, even if she didn't believe it.

There was one thing that completely surprised him. She begged him to make love to her, _begged him to make love to her._ He didn't think she'd be ready for that yet_._ But, Olivia always surprised him.

He sighed contently as she snuggled closer to him. God, he loved her. He tightened his hold on her and never wanted to let go. There was only one thing he wanted more than Olivia next to him forever, and that was killing Steve and Christan.

His happiness faded the moment their names flashed through his brain. His arms protectively tightened around her. He'd never let them hurt her again. He'd protect her. He couldn't live without her now. There was no way in hell he'd give her up now.

Not after last night, or rather this morning. She trusted him enough to let him make love to her. Not all rape victims could do that for along time. She'd trusted him not to hurt her, and he prayed to god he didn't. He couldn't live with himself knowing he'd hurt her like that.

Olivia's eyes opened slowly and she looked up to meet Elliot's eyes. She smiled up at him and he gave her a heart melting smile in return. He knew then he hadn't hurt her. He reached down and stroked her cheek gently again.

"Good morning." She said and pulled herself on top of him. He groaned when her sudden movement, landed her ass very close to his slowly growing erection. He grabbed her hips to steady her. She grinned, knowing what she was doing to him.

"Fucking great morning." He mumbled and she grinned again. She rubbed her hips against him and recieved another groan and a "Fuck Liv!" from Elliot. Oh it was going to be a hell of a morning.


	9. A Little Too Early

**I know I said I wasn't going to update this story for awhile, but I promised a smut chapter so.....here it is!!**

* * *

"So, baby, it's a little too early to really do anything, but stay in here. What do you want to do?" She asked and kissed the side of his neck, her hand running down his naked chest.

"I have a few ideas." He groans out and flips them over. She is slightly surprised at the move and he takes the opportunity to kiss her. The hot kiss nearly takes all the breath out of her lungs, but she returns it with equal passion and fire. His hands are running up her legs and the softness of his touch is like nothing she'd ever felt before. She lets out a soft moan into his mouth when he cups her right breast in his hand. He takes delight in the fact that she feels what he does, intense desire and need, when he touches her.

"God, El!" She moaned deeply as he pulled away from her lips and took her nipple in his mouth. That man could do amazing things with his mouth. She shamelessly pushes her breasts into his face, and runs her hands through his short hair. He swirls his tongue around her nipple before giving the same attention to her left breast.

She runs her hand down to his length and stroked it gentliy, he pulled away from her breast and let out small gasp.

"Jesus Liv" He whisperers and kissed her, taking her breath away again. She removes her hand from his erection and wraps it around his neck, wanting to keep his lips on hers. He runs her hands down to entrance and slips two fingers inside. She gasps sharply in his mouth and tightens her arms around his neck. She bucks her hips into his hand, silently begging him move his fucking hand. He pumps them in and out slowly, making her writhe beneath him. He pulls away from her lips and takes his fingers out of her body. He reaches up and slips his fingers, wet from being inside her, into her mouth.

She locks eyes with him and sucks deeply, making his eyes darken in desire. He pulls his fingers put slowly, licking his lips as her tongue slipped out of her mouth and ran over the length of his middle finger. As soon as her tongue retreated back into her mouth, he pushed his lips back against hers, wanting to taste her. She smiled and opened her mouth, his tongue immediately slipped in and began exploring. She gasped into his mouth as his hand sneaked up and grabbed her breast gently. This teasing was driving her crazy, she need him inside her.

She pulled away from his lips and wimpered softly, "Please. El, No more teasing. I need you." Hearing that made his eyes darken in desire once more. She wraped her legs around his waist as he kissed her once more. He positioned himself at her entreance and pulled away from her lips. He wanted to look in her eyes when he slid inside her.

She kept her eyes screwed shut, so he leaned down and whispered huskily in her ear, "Open your eyes for me baby." She opened her eyes slowly and looked into his dark, desire filled, eyes. He smiled and she moaned softly. What was this man doing to her? She smiled back and he pushed his hips against hers, letting her know he was going to slid in. She nodded and he slowly pushed inside her, groaning at the amazing feeling of being inside her. He decided to cherish the moment and not move yet.

"Oh god, please, move." She wimpered and he happily obliged. He started at a tortarously slow pace, that had her moaning and writheing beneath him quickly.

"God, El, I need....faster, please." She moaned and he smiled and went slower. She glared at him for a few seconds, before he swiped a finger across her clit, and she moaned deeply. She closed her eyes tightly as his slow pace increased. God, it felt so good.

"Fuck yes. Faster, please El, faster." She wimpered again and grabed his shoulders. He groaned and buryed his head against her shoulder, he couldn't keep his slow pace anymore, he couldn't control himself. He drove into her nearly as fast and deep as he could, and she moaned in pleasure.

"Fuck, Liv. You feel so good. So good." He moaned and learned over and kissed her. His words were driving her crazy. Her nails were digging into his back, most likely making scars, and he didn't care. He couldn't feel any pain right now, just desire, love, need, passion, and pleasure.

"Shit, baby. I'm about to-" She cut him off with her lips. When he could barley breathe, she pulled away and whimpered, "I know, baby, me two." She fell onto the bed and gazed up through desire filled eyes. He leaned down and stroked her cheek gently. She looked so fucking beautiful right now, her body covered with sweet, her hair fanned out all around her, her beautiful body and face bathed in the sunrise streaming through the window. Just the sight of her made him cum. Groaning out his release, he felt her orgasm wash through her. He leaned down and captured her lips, and swallowed her scream of pleasure. They stayed like this, him on top of her, kissing her, until both their breathing went back to normal.

She opened her eyes and saw him staring down at her, with a shy smile on his face. She smiled up at him and whimpered when he rolled off of her. He smiled again, and pulled her in to his arms. She snuggled into him and sighed.

"I love you, Elliot." She said softly, her eyes drifting closed. He leaned doen and kissed her forehead.

"I love you, too, Olivia." He said and watched as the love of his life fell asleep in his arms. She was so adorable. God, did he love her.


	10. The Calls

Finally climbing out of bed nearly three hours later, Olivia slipped on her underwear and Elliot's shirt. He grinned when she put it on, it made her look so sexy. She smiled at him and slipped out to make coffee, to help him recover from their third round of sex that morning. He knew he should have stopped and slept, instead of watching her sleep, then making love to her twice in a row, but he couldn't keep his hands off of her. Neither could she for that matter. He slipped on his boxers and followed her into the kitchen. He nearly chocked on the sight he found. She was bent over, head in refrigerator, and her perfect ass was showing. Damn her.

"See something you like Stabler?" She asked turning around. Heat creeped up on his cheeks, how had she know he was staring?

"Damn right." He said and pulled her to him.

"And what would that be?" She asked innocently, as if she wasn't standing half-naked in his kitchen. He leaned down until their lips were so close, he could feel her breath on his lips.

"You." He breathed and kissed her passionately. Her arms wrapped around his neck, and she pushed herself against him. He pulled away and buried him head in her hair.

"I love you baby." He whispered and she smiled.

"I love you, too." She whispered back, and pulled away to start the coffee. He sat down at the table and watched her every move. Noticing the grace which she moved when she was in his kitchen. She belonged there, he realized. She'd always belonged with him.

"Hello, Elliot, you there?" She asked waving her hand in front of his face.

"Huh, sorry. What were you saying?" He asked, pulling her onto his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and put her head on his shoulder.

"I asked what you wanted for breakfast baby." She said and inhaled his unique scent.

"Oh, whatever you want, Liv." He said and layed his head onto of hers.

"Well, I was thinking, we could go get something to eat, and then go see Casey, and Alex. I should to talk to them." She said, sighing. They modt likely knew already, but she still needed to talk to them. They were her best friends, aside from Elliot.

"Whatever you want baby." He said and kissed her forehead. She sighed happily, forgetting her troubles. Elliot could do that, make her fprget everything that bothered her with a touch of his skin.

His cellphone rang and Olivia sighed, but got off of his lap. She walked back to the coffee pot and poured thier cups. He looked around and found his phone on the table.

"Stabler." He answered and took his coffee as Olivia sat down.

"Elliot. Is she okay? How bad is she? Is. . ." Casey asked quickly before Ellito cut her off.

"Casey, Casey, breathe. She's fine. A little bruised up, but fine." Elliot answered and sat down next to Olivia. She lased her fingers through his and put her head on his chest.

"I can't belive I didn't. . ." She started and he cut her off again.

"Casey, no one knew. " He said and Olivia grabbed the phone out of his hand.

"Casey, it's not your fault, honey." She said and Casey started to cry on the other end.

"Liv, I'm soo soo sorry. I should have known. Can you forgive me?" She cried. Olivia sighed.

"Honey, it wasn't your fault, okay? I don't need to forgive you, you didn't do anything wrong." She tried to console Casey, and a few tears slipped down her face. She never knew everyone cared so much about her. Elliot whipped away her tears and pulled her tighter against him.

A few minutes later, when she finally calmed down Casey, and convinced her ot go to luch with them, Alex called and she repeat everything all over again. When she finally hung up, there were tears cascading down her face. Elliot didn't say anything for awhile, knowing she needed some kind of space, just let her cry in his arms. When her breathing and tears finally slowed, he placed a kiss on her forehead.

"You gonna be okay?" He asked softly. She sighed and nodded.

"You wanna talk about it?" He asked quietly.

"Take me to bed first." She ordered and looked up ay him.


	11. My Own Little Family

He picked her up and brought her into the bedroom, and set her down gently on the bed. He sat next to her and she put her head in his lap. He waited for her to speak, he didn't want to push her. A few minutes passed in silence as she layed there. He ran his hand through her beautiful, brown hair. Every few seconds, he'd lean down and place a gentle kiss on either her cheek or her forehead. She didn't say anything for awhile. She knew she should talk to him, he was probaby worried, but she didn't want to seem weak. She knew he loved her, and wanted to help her, but she was overwhelmed. She sighed as his lips brushed her forehead.

"You know something Liv, I've found that your most beautiful at night, when the moon shines on your skin, you like an angel, but somehow still sexy, and mysterious." He said softly, and she knew complementing her was one of his many ways of cheering her up. She looked up and smiled, then blushed a little. He called her an angel, and sexy, and mysterious. She smiled again when she heard him chuckle.

"Your goregous when you blush." He said and smiled her her face heated up again.

"I love you, El. Thanks for trying to cheer me up." She said and leaned up to place a gentle kiss on his lips.

"I love you too, baby." He said ad kept on smiling down at her.

"I don't know if I'm ready to talk yet." She said and closed her eyes.

"When ever your ready baby." He whispered. She took a deep breath.

"I guess it just kinda hit me that they all actually love me. Not like you do, but like a sister. I never knew I had people like you, and them. I didn't know you guys loved me, that I had my own little family already." She said quietly and looked up at him. He was looking down at her with understanding in his eyes.

"For the record, no one loves you like I do." He said. She smiled and sat up. He pulled her tight against his chest and wrapped his arms around her. She relaxed into his arms and he smiled.

"Baby you've always had a family. We've always loved you. They've always thought of you as a sister." He said and she layed her head over his heart.

"Back then, what did you love me as?" She asked quietly. He thought about lieing to her, telling her he loved her like a sister, until Gitano, but he decided she'd been lied to too much already.

"At first, just as a sister, but, as I got to know you more, I fell in love with you. I honestly didn't realize it until Gitano, though. I didn't realize it until I saw you bleeding on the floor in that subway, I didn't realize it until I saw that look in your eyes when he hand the gun to my head. I realized, then and there, that I'd loved you for years. I think I was in denial. I wanted to believe I loved Kathy, but it was always you I loved. From the first time I saw you, Olivia, I've loved you. I just can't believe I didn't realize it until I almost lost you. I wanted to tell you then, but you were married to Stevie and I was still married to Kathy. I can't believe I held it in this long." He said softly and kissed her forehead again. Wow, she hadn't expected him to be so honest.

"What about you? What did you love me as back then?" He asked and closed his eyes, afraid to hear what she was going to say. Maybe she's say she hadn't loved him then, or that she thought he was crazy, he couldn't have loved her then.

"I've always loved you, Elliot. That first day with you, all those years ago, I fell for you. Hard. Painfully hard. I've loved you for so long, and I don't know how to live without you anymore. I don't think I could if I wanted to. And-and what scares me the most is that if something ever happened to you, or if I lost you, I would have no idea what to do without you." She whispered and looked up. His eyes were open now, and looking down at her. His eyes watered when he looked into her sad, vulnerable eyes.

"Promise not to leave me Elliot." She whispered desperately, her eyes tearing up quickly.

"Baby, that's not a promise I can-" He started but she cut him off.

"I know, but promise me anyway, please." She whispered, trying her hardest to keep the tears in her eyes from falling. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips. When he pulled away, he whispered: "I promise." She smiled at him and smiled back before his eyes landed on the scar on her neck. Painful memories flashed through his mind as he reached down and stroked the painful reminder of what he almost lost.

"I can't believe I almost lost you then." He whispered and a single tear fell from his eyes. She whipped it away and closed her eyes.

"It wasn't your fault you know." She said softly and snuggled closer to him.

"I know that now, but then, I blamed myself and you. I couldn't believe that you getting hurt like that would make me like that. I fought the pain back, and got angry. I wanted to blame you so I wouldn't feel so bad about what happened." He said softly and she opened her eyes. She looked up at him with only understanding in her eyes. He didn't deserve her, she was to forgiving, to understanding.

"I never did apologize to you, did I?" He asked and she shook her head. He smiled and flipped them over, so she was on her back, and he was on top of her. She looked so beautiful at that moment. Her eyes were light with amusement, her face was flowing with happiness, and her hair was fanned out all around her. He leaned down and pressed small kisses to her neck.

"I'm. Sorry. I. Yelled. At. You. And. Blamed. You. I. Love. You. Olivia." He said, kissing her in between each word.

"I forgive you, and I love you too." She whispered and pulled his lips back to hers.

* * *

**Ok...i need a little help with the next chapter. I can figure out what should happen. If anyone has any ideas pleasse tell me~ Review~**


	12. How Can It Be Okay

"Come on baby, we need to go, we're going to be late!" Elliot yelled as he stood by the front door, waiting for Olivia to come out, so they could go talk to Alex and Casey. When he received no answer, he listened hard, and heard a soft crying sound coming from his bedroom. He followed the sound, and found Olivia sitting on the floor, in only her bra and panties, crying her eyes out, surrounded by clothes. He frowned as he sat next to her and she nearly jumped into his arms.

"What is it baby?" He asked and looked down at her, she wouldn't look at him.

"Look at the clothes." She said softly, before she buried her head against his shoulder and cried some more. He grabbed the closest thing to him and looked at it. He gasped. It was covered in holes and dried blood.

"Wh-what happened?" He asked her trembling form. She sniffled.

"I guess I grabbed the wrong dresser drawer of clothes. H-He always made me keep my bloodily clothes in a drawer. He said he would personally give it to the cops, if I ever had the guts to call them, and he would always pull them out when we fighting and say 'l did this to you before and I'll do it again'" She whimpered. He sighed, why did she have to hurt so bad?

"It'll be okay baby. I don't know how, or when, but I know somehow it'll be okay." He says soothingly as he rocks her gently in his arms. She can't stop crying, he's never seen her cry so hard in his life. This reminder of what Steve and Christan had done to her torn her apart, and it killed him.

"H-How? How will it ever be okay? How can you say it'll ever be okay?!" She screemed and lurched out of his arms. She began paceing quickly and he stood up.

"Baby-" He started. She cut him off quickly.

"Don't. Elliot, just don't. Tell me. Tell me how you can say it'll be okay!" She shouted and stopped in front of him. He pulled her into his arms and she fought against him, pushing and shoving his chest. He didn't let go, he only held her tighter. Eventually she stopped fighting and let him hold her.

"I know it'll be alright because I won't let you get hurt again, Casey and Alex won't let those bastards get off, and nobody in the squad will let either one of those bastards near you. Relax baby, just relax, okay. Nobody can hurt you now. Nobody. Okay?" He said softly and she nodded against his chest, relaxing almost instantly.

"Okay, I'm sorry I yelled at you." She said quietly and he kissed her forehead. He didn't mind, he knew she was only scared, and embarrassed.

"It's alright baby. You know I love you more than anything in the world right?" He asks softly and she looks up at him then nods.

"And you know I'd do anything in the world to protect you, right?" He asks and she nods again.

"Then why are you scared honey?" He asks gently and stops her when she tries to look away. He keeps his eyes locked with hers, and silently begs her to tell him. She sighs.

"I don't know. Honestly, I don't know why I'm so scared. I just- I don't know." She says and sighs again. She has no fucking idea why she is so scared, she knows Elliot wouldn't let anything hurt her. She knows she is safe, Christan and Stan are in jail, so she doesn't get how she could possibly still be afraid.

"Maybe you should talk to Huang, he might be able to help you figure out why your so afraid." He says softly. She sighs and burrows closer to him. Maybe she should see Huang, it might be good for her.

"Maybe I will." She said and looked up at him. He smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Come on, I think you have clothes around her somewhere." He said, stood and pulled her up. He walked over to his closet, looked through it quickly and pulled out one of her old gym bags. She smiled and took it from him. She leaned up and kissed his cheek.

"What would I do without you?" She teased as his arms wrapped around.

"I don't know, good thing you'll never have to find out." He said and smiled.


	13. They Got Out

"Are you ready?" He asked as she came out of the bathroom. She nodded nervously and walked toward him. He took her hands in his, and she looked down.

"It'll be alright." He said softly and smiled when she looked up at him. She nodded and stared into his beautiful, blue eyes. Her hand came up and landed on his cheek. His eyes were confused as they watched her. She smiled up at his as she gently stroked his cheek.

"El, I love you." She says softly as his arms wrap around her. She smiled again as his warmth surrounded her.

"I love you too, baby, so much." He says softly and smiles as her soft skin touches his. He could stay like this forever. He wished he could. Being with her forever, would be heaven.

"Stop procrastinating Liv, we need to go." He said and pulled away. She sighed and nodded. He smiled and brought her hand to his lips. He kissed it softly and led her outside.

* * *

'I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.' She chanted in her head as Elliot opened the restaurant door for her. She really hoped that was true. She gave him a nervous smile when they sat down. He returned her smiled and reached over to take her hand. She knew what he was trying to tell her. _It's okay. I'm here._ She needed him to be there for her. She always had.

She grew more nervous when she saw the two familiar ADAs walk into the restaurant. Elliot gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and a whispered a quick: "It'll be alright baby," before Alex and Casey got over to them. It was easy to see that they both had been crying. Their faces were also strangely pale.

"Olivia." Casey said and she stood up, so she could hug two of her best Friends. They wrapped their arms tightly around her, and held on for dear life. When they finally lat go of her, they shared an uneasy glance before they sat down.

"Liv, there's something you need to know." Alex said and looked down. She was immediately nervous. What was wrong?

"They got out. I don't know how, or why, but Steve and Christan both got out." Casey said and she stopped breathing. No, no, no. They couldn't be out. The world swirled around her, before her head began to swim, and darkness overwhelmed her.

* * *

**I'm sorry it's short, but I have no ideas. If you have any, let me know.**


	14. What Is Best For Him

"Liv! Olivia, honey you gotta wake up!" Elliot's voice was fearful above me. I groaned as my eyes opened. The light was too bright. I closed them again, and felt Elliot lift me into his arms.

"What happened?" I ask as the safety of his arms surround me and my eyes open again.

"You passed out." He said, and pulled me up. I looked up, and noticed how pale Casey, Alex, and Elliot were.

"Wha-" I started but stopped when the memory came back to me. _They got out._ _They were out, and most likely were after me._

"Shit." I muttered and ran out of the door. I could hear Elliot chasing me, but I didn't stop until I got to the ally next to the restaurant. I was slumped against the wall when he finally reached me.

"Liv, listen to me honey. Everything will be alright, I won't them hurt you, sweetheart. You have nothing to worry about." He says softly as he reaches for me. I go willingly into his arms and try to fing comfort in his words, but I can't. No matter how hard he tries, he can't protect me every second of everyday.

"It won't be alright, El. Nothing will be alright until they're in jail and I know for a fact that they can't hurt us." I whisper and he sighs. He knows I'm right. I feel him gentily pull me closer.

"We'll find 'em, Liv, I promise." He whispers after a minute or two. I sigh this time, because I know who Steve and Christan will hurt if they can't get to me. They'll hurt Elliot, or his family. I can't have that. I need to protect him. I love him too much to let him get hurt .The only way I can do that, is if I hurt him. I don't want that, but I need to keep him safe. I pull out of his arms and look away from his eyes.

"El, I can't be with you anymore." I whisper and back up a few steps. I look up and meet his eyes. The pain in them breaks my heart into a million pieces, but I won't let them hurt him because of me. This is the only way to protect him.

"Liv, wha-what are you talking about?" His voice shakes and he is stepping toward me. I close my eyes and attempt to find the strength to break his heart. I don't know if I can do this to him. But, I have to, too protect him.

"I'm leaving you, Elliot." I open my eyes as the words spill from my mouth. There is shock and an extreme amount of pain on his face. God, I hate doing this to him. He doesn't deserve it. I feel tears coming as he stares at me, disbelief written all over his face. I don't blame him for being confused, I was the one who made him promise not to leave me, and now I'm the one leaving him. I'd be confused too, if I were him.

He didn't look like he was going to do anything other than stare at me. I sigh, and turn away from him. I let the tears flow relentlessly as I walk away from him.

_"Don't go back. Don't go back. This is what is best for him. I will only hurt him If I stay. Don't go back." _I think as I walk away. I fight the overwhelming desire to run back into his arms and tell him I didn't mean it. A small sob escapes and I cover my mouth to stop anymore. This way the right thing to do. He shouldn't get hurt now. They won't kill him now. Though I know he will still hurt for a long time. But, his heart will heal, and he'll get on with his life.

_But will my heart heal?_ Probably not.

_Will I get on with my life?_ No, I have to give it up to protect the people I love.

I will die to protect them, because they'd do the same for me. I will die to protect them because they are my family.


	15. Only Trying To Protect You

I can hear him chasing me, before I hear his voice.

"Liv! Liv, please wait!" He shouts before he reaches me. I can't help myself, I stop. His pained voice is like a dagger in my already broken heart. So, I sigh and turn to face him. He is too close. I heart skips a few beats as he reaches up and whips away some of my tears.

"Tell me why your leaving me, Olivia." He demands, and searchs my eyes. I look away and try to find someway to get away from him. Suddenly, I get an idea. If he believed what I was about to tell him, It would kill him.

"I don't love you." I whisper and look up, into his eyes. That was a mistake. All I had to do was look into his eyes and he knew I was lying to him. He knew what I was really doing.

"You're lying." He states and I close my eyes. He knew me too well. He strokes my cheek gently and I open my eyes. I open my mouth to speak, and Elliot takes the oppertuanty to kiss me. I can't stop myself from wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling myself closer. That was exactly what he wanted. He knew that if I loved him, I wouldn't beable to resist kissing him. He was trying to prove that I loved him. And he was doing a very good job of it. When he finally realsed my lips, we were both breathing hard. He moves a strand of hair out of my face and careses my face gently.

"Please, don't do this. I know you think this will protect me, but it won't. Liv, they don't just want to hurt you, they want to hurt everyone you love. I know this isn't going to make you feel better, but you running out on me isn't going to stop them from trying to hurt me, or anyone else. The only thing you can do to make them stop, is testify against them; when we catch them, which I swear to god, better be soon." He said and I closed my eyes. He was right, they were going to hurt everyone I loved until they were caught.

"I'm sorry, Elliot. I was only trying to protect you." I whispered and rested my forehead against his shoulder. He tangles one hand in my hair and wraps the other arms around me.

"I know, baby, I know. It's alright. I'd do the same thing, if I were you, but baby, you gotta understand. No one will EVER hurt you if I'm around." He said and I pulled my head up and look up at him. I nod and attempt to smile, though I know he won't always be there to protect me. He sighs and looks down. He knows what I'm thinking, and he knows I'm right.

"Okay, so I won't be able to protect you all the time, but while these two...psycos are out there, I will. I will spend every second with you, if that's what it takes to keep you safe. If anyone wants to hurt you, they'll have to go through me first." He whispers and looks up at me. His words are bringing tears to my eyes again, and he could see it. When my tears finally slipped down my face, he whipped them away.

"Hey, Hey, don't cry baby. Tell me what's wrong." He said gently, and I sighed.

"It's just...I'm surprised you followed me, and I'm surprised you are willing to risk your life to protect me." I wispered. He gave me a loopsided grin, before he became serous again.

"You shouldn't be. Liv, I'd give anything in the world to keep you safe, and with me forever." He said softly. I gave him a small smile, before I barried my head in his chest.

"Anything in the world." He whispered again and tightened his arms around me. I know it was wrong, that I should simply find Stevie and Christian and beg them to just kill me and not hurt anyone else, but I can't bring myself to leave the protection and happiness of Elliot's love.

"I love you, Elliot. And I will always and forever." I whisper and look up at him, knowing how sappy that sounded. He smiled at me.

"I love you, too Olivia. Always and forever." He whispered back and cupped my cheek gently in his palm. He stared down into my eyes, and didn't look away, or pull away, when we heard Casey and Alex coming toward us. Instead he leaned down and kissed me. I was shocked at first, I didn't think he'd kiss me right in front of Casey, and Alex, but then I realized he didn't care if they were there, he only wanted to make sure I knew what he said was true. I heard them gasp in shock, but I didn't look at them, I simply kissed Elliot back.

"Liv." He whispered when we pulled apart for air. I keep my eyes closed as he strokes my cheek. I don't want this moment to end, I don't want to go back to worrying about Stevie and Christain. I want to keep kissing him.

"Hmmm?" I murmer, open my eyes, and let myself get lost in his beautiful, loving, blue eyes.

"What do you say we just go home and relax for a little while?" He asks as he leans down as places delicate kisses on my neck. I struggle to form a coherate sentence.

"Okay. But we have to talk to Alex and Casey first." I say softly, and he sighs. I smile at him when he looks at me. He smiles back at me and pulled away. I look over at Casey and Alex as a blush colors my cheeks.

"We need to talk Liv." Casey says and I nod. We need to talk about alot of things: Stevie, Christain, the trail, and Elliot and I. I sigh and pull completely away from Elliot and walk towards them. I can hear Elliot following me.

"Not right now Liv, we can talk later. Go hame and relax for a while." Alex says and winks at Elliot and I. A blush colors my cheeks.

"Are you sure?" I ask when I reach them. They smile and nod. As they walk away, I turn to Elliot. I feel him gently pull me into his arms, giving me time to pull away if I wanted to. They smiled again, whan they turned around saw Elliot and I. I blush again when I see they looking at us.

They know about us now. I hope they can keep a secret, if the rat squad found out about us, they'd seperate us. I don't want to work with anyone but Elliot. I don't want to have to settle for havong him after work. I want him all the time. I want to stay partnered with the man I love. Is that too much to ask for?


	16. What's Wrong

We are curled up on the couch, watching some movie, when I look up at Elliot.

"Elliot, can we go out tonight?" I ask and he looks down at me. He smiles.

"Of course we can, baby." He says and smiles again as my face lights up.

"Really?" I ask excitedly. We really need to let loose for a little while.

"Ya, sweetie, if you want to, we will." He said and smiled down at me again. I knew he'd do nearly anything I wanted him too. _Anything..._

I knew he was startled when I flip over, so I'm on top of him. I smile seductively down at him, and understanding and desire clouds his eyes. He grabs my hips when I lean down to kiss him. One hand leaves my waist to cup my cheek gently. I pull away from his lips and look down at him. He smiling up at me, and gently tracing patterns on my hips. There is unmistakable happiness, and desire in his eyes. It makes me smile.

"I love you baby." I whisper and he leans up and cups my face in both his hands. I find myself leaning into his hands and reaching up to hold them to my face. The first time he had touched me like this, it awakened something inside of me. It had made me feel so delicate, so...loved. Sometimes he held me as if I would break if he held to tight, or let go of me. Sometimes he held me so tightly, like he'd thought I'd run away and never come back, if he didn't. Sometimes he held me like he couldn't believe that I was there, with him. Like he couldn't believe I loved him.

"I love you too, baby, so much." He whispered and kissed both of my hands. He smiles at me and takes my hands away from my face, intertwining his fingers through mine. I look down at him in confusion, wondering why he took his hands away from my face. He simply smiles again, and presses his head against my shoulder.

When I try to pull away to look at him, he stops me and whispers, his voice pained, "Please, just...just let me hold you for a minute or two. Please, baby...I just....need to hold you for a little while." Hateing the desperation in his voice, I give him what he asks for. I let him hold me. I don't know how long we sat there. And I don't care, I love holding him, having him hold me. But he was holding me like he couldn't believe I loved him, and like he thought I'd run away and never come back.

"Are you okay Elliot?" I ask as he finally races his head to look at me. I am surprised to see that he is crying. Did I do something?

"El, baby, what's wrong?" I ask when he doesn't answer. He still won't say anything, he only stares at me, and crys. I don't know what's wrong, or how to fix it. It's worrying me. I reach out and gently whip away his tears, and he holds my hand to his face, like I had done to him.

"Please, tell me what's wrong, please baby." I whisper and he sighs. I take my hand away from his face and stand up.

He watches me as I pace, and still didn't speak. We stay like this for a while, me pacing and him just watching me, refusing to tell what's wrong. Finally I sigh and walk towards the bedroom. I hear him following me. I pretend not to notice him as I lay down. He watches me for a minute before coming and laying next to me. I pull away from him when he tries to wrap his arms around me. He's not touching me until he tells me what's wrong. He sighs. I sigh too, because I'm worried about him. I roll over to face him, and see the pain, and the continuous tears, on his face.

"El, please tell me what's wrong." I whisper, tears getting ready to start falling. Why doesn't he trust me enough to tell me what's wrong with him?

"I..I just...I don't want to lose you, Liv. I don't want to wake up one morning and find you gone. I don't want you to run away." He whispers and closes his eyes, his tears never stopping. Now I understand. He was afraid of me running away, like I tried to do earlier. He was afraid that I'd do it again. I sigh and wrap my arms around him. It takes a second, but he finally pulls me into his embrace.

"I can't promise you that I won't run away again. It's what I've always done when things get too hard, or too overwhelming. It's a habit. But, El, you've always been the one reason I came back. I run away because I'm scared, and I run back, because I miss you. Because I love you." I whisper and look up at him. His tears have stopped, even though mine have just started.

"I promise that if you run away from me again, I will chase you. You hear me? I will chase you to the ends of the earth if I have to, but I'm not going to let you run from me again, I can't. You understand me?" He growled. I nodded fiercely, and I know he wasn't lying. He'd do anything he had to, to bring me back. I'd do the same for him.


	17. Tell Me

I was surprised when he pulled himself on top of me. There was need, pain, determination, desire and danger clear in his eyes. A small bit of fear took over me when he pinned my hands above my head, but it passed quickly, I knew he wouldn't hurt me. I gasped when he leaned down and started to kiss my neck.

"Your mine. You hear me? Your all mine." He growls, and his tone ignites something inside me, something that knows that he needs to know that I'm his, something that is willing to give him whatever he wanted.

"I know." I whisper as one of his hand skim over my stomach. His hand quickly flew up, gripped my face, not hard, and made me look at him.

"Tell me your mine!" He commands and fear flashes through me again, but it passes again as I remind myself that Elliot would never hurt me, ever. He needs this, I realize, he needs too know that I belong to him, that every piece of me belongs to him.

"I'm all yours." I whimper as his other hand releases my arms and caresses my breast, with surprising gentleness.

"Tell me you won't run from me again." He whispers against my neck. I don't answer him, I'm too caught up in the sensations he is causing. He lets go of my face and caresses both breasts in his hands. He is sucking on my neck, knowing what it does to me.

"Tell me!" He growls desperately. I close my eyes and whimper when he stops all his actions. I struggle to take a breath, the passion in his actions are driving me crazy.

"I won't run." I mange to squeak, and moan in pleasure when he continues with his teasing.

"Damn right! I won't let you!" He whispers fiercely, and reaches down to pull of my shirt. Seeing what he wants I lean up and lift my arms over my head, as he lifts the shirt off of me. As soon it was out of the way, I grabbed his shirt and pulled it off. I smirked at him and layed back down. He quickly followed and kissed me. I wrapped one arm around his neck, while the other sneaked down and undid the button on his jeans. He pulled back and smiled at me.

"Sneaky little devil." He whispered and I smiled, then pulled him back into a kiss. He reaches down and undoes the button on my jeans. He pulls away and slips my pants down my legs. He slips out of his and stares at me. I smirked up at him again, and curled my fingers in a come here motion. His eyes darkened as he climbed up my body, stopping every now and then to place a kiss somewhere.

"Tell me you-" He whispers when he reaches my lips. I stop him by leaning up and kissing him. I pull away and smile sweetly up at him.

"I love you, El." I whisper and he smiles, surprised that I knew what he needed to hear. I surprise him again, by flipping us over, so I'm on top. I smile before leaning down and kissing his neck.

"God, I fucking love you too, baby, so much." He whispers and reaches up to unclasp my bra. I let it slip off and moan when he leans up and takes my nipple in his mouth.

"I know you do baby. I know." I moan and close my eyes. His hand sneaks up and grabs my other breast then molds it into his hand. I moan loudly again, and he groans.

"Do you know what you do to me?" I whimper and he looks up at me. He reaches up and strokes my cheek gently.

"The same thing you do to me baby." He says softly and flips us over. I stare up at him, closing my eyes and moaning, when his strong, rough hands run up my legs and slip off my panties. I point to his boxers and command, "Off!"

He smiles and complys. I wrap my legs around his naked hips and smile.

"Do you know what you mean to me?" He asks as he positions himself at my entrance. He is looking down seriously at me, and my smile fades.

"Tell me." I whisper and he leanes down, and kissed his way up to my ear.

"You mean everything to me, Liv, everything. I'd do anything in the world for you." He whispers as he thrusts into me. I moan loudly and clutch at his back. I feel him placing gentle kisses on my neck as he gently thrusts into me, over and over again.

"God yes, please don't stop." I moan and I can feel his smile against my neck. I whimper when he stops moving. He leans up, and looks at me. I can still see a small bit of fear in his eyes, and it kills me. He still thinks I'm going to run away from him.

"I'm not going to run baby, I promise." I whisper and he closes his eyes and nuzzels my neck. I moan when he starts moving again. I guess he needed to hear that.

"I love you so much, baby." He whispers into my ear again as his thrusts increase in speed. I moan and arch my back, trying to get close to him as possible.

"I love you too, El." I whimper. The feeling and sensations he is creating are driving me absolutely crazy. I can't get enough of him. I run my hands up and down his broad, strong chest and he moans.

"Jesus baby, your driving me crazy." He moans and braces one hand beside my head, holding himself up, while the other reaches down and strokes my cheek. I look up into his dark, desire filled eyes, and groan when I hear the phone next to the bed ring.

"Ignore it." He growls as I reach for it. I smile and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him into a kiss. The phone continues to ring and Elliot gets frustrated. He pulls away from my lips and yanks the phone off the resever.

"Hello." He growls and stops moving inside of me. I whimper in protest and lean up to kiss his neck. He closes his eyes and fights the urge to moan, making me smile.

"No, sorry, she's a little..umm..busy at the moment, Casey." He says and glares at me. I smile innocently at him, and continues to kiss his neck, but now I run my hands up his chest. This time he can't contain a moan.

"Yeah, I'll tell her to call you later." He says, his voice shaking slightly, and hangs up. He torses the phone on the table and smiles evilly at me.

"Your gonna pay for that sweetheart." He says playfully and starts thrusting again, setting an extremely slow pace, that has me trashing and moaning beneath him in minutes. He leaned down and kissed down my collarbone, then kissed his way to my breasts. He reached down and stroked my clit gently and thrusted into me faster. Fuck, he was trying to kill me.

"God!" I moan and he leans up and looks at me.

"Nope, it's not god, it's just me." He says and smiles when I glare at him. I know he knows that I'm going to cum soon, just like I know he will too. He leans down and gently nips my earlobe.

"Come on baby, scream my name. You know you want to." He whispers and I whimper in response. He knows I want nothing more than to scream his name at the top of my lungs, but I also don't want to give him the satisifation. I shake my head and close my eyes.

"No." I whisper and tug him over, so I can kiss him. He lets me, but stops an inch away from my lips. I whimper when he stops moving inside me.

"Come on baby, just do it. I know you want to." He taunts and I growl in frustration.

"Elliot, please." I whimper and he smiles. He's got me right where he wants me, and he loves it. He knows I'll do anything he asks, as long as he keeps moving.

"Louder." He commands and kisses me, letting me taste him for a second, before pulling away.

"Elliot, please." I say louder, and earn a few gentle thrusts. I moan loudly and he captures my lips again, this time kissing me a little longer, but still pulling away after a couple of seconds.

"Come on honey, I know you can be louder." He teases and I close my eyes tightly, trying not to give in. But, I'm weak when it comes to him, and he knows it. He trusts into me faster this time, and harder, though still gentle enough not to hurt me.

"Elliot." I yell, I can't help myself. He smiles in victory and finally leans down so I can kiss him fully, letting me run my hands up and down his back. Now that he has won, he has no problem contiueing the gentle, slow thrusts he was doing earlier. But I don't want slow and gentle now, I want hard and fast.

"Please El, I need you to go faster, go harder, please." I whimper and he looks up at me, uncertanty in his eyes.

"Liv, I don't want to hurt you." He says softly, unsure. It's like he thinks I'll break if he does.

"You won't baby, I'm not that fragile. Please." I say and look up into his eyes. He thinks for a second before he nods and starts to slowly increase his speed, every time pushing a little harder. It takes a minute or two, but he finally is doing exactly what I want to him too. I reach up and grab his shoulders for support.

"Fuck yes, just like that." I moan and he leans down to kiss me. I feel my orgasm coming on and hold on tighter. I expload in his arms seconds later, moaning and calling out his name. He follows a few thrusts later, mixing my name with a long prayer. We hold onto each other tightly until we come down from our high.

He rolled off me when he caught his breath, I whimpered and curled into his side. I shivered and he wrapped his arms tightly around me.

"Are you cold?" He asks softly and I shiver again. Not needing to hear my answer, he pulls away and grabs the blanket off the floor. Once he is next to me again, I curl back into his side, where it is warm. He through the blanket over us and wraps his arms around me again. Still shivering slightly, I look up at him. He's looking down at me, with pain in his eyes. He thinks he hurt me.

"Baby, you didn't hurt me, I promise." I say softly and climb on top of him, so he has to look up at me. I shiver slightly again, and he rolls his eyes. He gives me a small smile, one that doesn't reach his eyes, and pulls me off of him. He stands and walks to the air conditioner on the wall. He looks at it for a second before he flips some little switch and adjusts something. He looks over at me for a second then at the bathroom.

"Do you want to take a shower, honey? It should be warm by the time we get out." He asked softly, not meeting my eyes. I look away and close my eyes. I have no idea what's wrong with him. Maybe it's me, maybe he realized that he doesn't love me after all, or that I'm not good enough for him. Hell it could be plenty of things. Shit. I knew this was going to happen. Fuck. What am I going to do? Crap. I need to calm down. No seance in getting all worked up. At least, not yet. I better enjoy it while I can.

"Ok." I whisper and open my eyes. I stand and walk into the bathroom, keeping my head down, not looking at him. I lean down and turn the hot water on as far as it'll go. He moves my hand away and turns it down some, then turns on the cold water. When he starts the shower, I step in without looking at him. I warm up quickly when the water hits me. I feel him next to me, watching as I let the warm water surround me. The water hides my tears, but that doesn't mean anything. He knows I'm upset. All he has to do is look at me, then he knows. Just like I know he's upset. I just don't know why.


	18. The Anger Inside Him

"Ok." I whisper and open my eyes. I stand and walk into the bathroom, keeping my head down, not looking at him. I lean down and turn the hot water on as far as it'll go. He moves my hand away and turns it down some, then turns on the cold water. When he starts the shower, I step in without looking at him. I warm up quickly when the water hits me. I feel him next to me, watching as I let the warm water surround me. The water hides my tears, but that doesn't mean anything. He knows I'm upset. All he has to do is look at me, then he knows. Just like I know he's upset. I just don't know why.

I jump slightly when his arms surround me, but the surprise doesn't stop me from leaning into him, letting my head rest on his chest. I let my eyes slip shut and enjoy the little time I have left with him.

"I love you, baby." He says softly in my ear, and I open my eyes. The complete and absolute love in his voice eases some of my earlier worries, but not enough to calm me.

"Do you really?" I ask before I can stop myself. He turns me around quickly, and tilts my head up, so I have to look at him. For the first time, in a long time, I can't read what's in his eyes. That scares me. I've always been able to read him.

"Of course I do. You know that." He says gently, and I look away.

"Baby, what's wrong?" He ask, and I look at him. I recognize worry in his eyes this time, and I sigh.

"You are." I whisper and look away again. I can feel him looking at me, trying to figure what I mean.

"What do you mean?" He asks gently and pulls me tighter against him. I don't pull away and he kisses my forehead.

"Somethings wrong and you won't tell me what it is." I say softly and look up at him. He hides his eyes and it confirms my suspicions. Something is wrong.

"El, talk to me." I say softly and he looks down at me. The pleading in my eyes must have convinced him because he sighed.

"I don't want to hurt you, Liv." He starts but puts his hand over my mouth gently, when I try to interrupt. He shakes his head and I roll my eyes.

"I don't want to hurt you," He repeats, "But, Liv, there's a part of me that so angry all the time. And you know that sometimes I can't control that anger. You've seen what happens when I lose control. You know how bad it can get. I-" He stops and takes a breath. He looks away and I turn his head back. He looks down at me, and I can see, even through the water and steam, how close he is to crying. I don't push him to continue, because I know it won't help.

"I don't want to lose control and hurt you. I know you think that I'd never hurt you, but I'm not so sure. I keep waiting for the day when something sets me off and I hurt you. And I can't stand the though of ever hurting you. And I know that if I ever did, I'd lose you completely. I can't lose you. You're all I have. You're the only reason I'm still sane. You're the only reason I'm still alive. And-and-Fuck." He pulled away from me and braced his hands on the shower wall, and put his head down. I know he's crying now. I reach for him but he flinches slightly when I touch him. I sigh and slip between his arms. He is looking at me, and the tears are pouring out of his eyes. He tries to look away, but I grab his face in my hands and make him look at me.

"You won't hurt me, Elliot. I know you. I know you have a temper. I know that you have anger inside of you. I know you lose control. And you know what else I know? I know that in the ten years we've known each other, you've never once hit me. I know how close you've come to doing it, and I know that every time you come close, you stop yourself. Because you're a good man. You can control yourself. You've done it before. You won't hurt me. You won't hurt me when we fight, or when we make love. You would never let yourself." I say, and I know he can tell that I believe that, with every part of me. He glances away for a second before he looks at me again.

"How can you belive that? How can you possibly know that I'd never hurt you?" He asks shakily, and I realize that he needs to know why I trust him so much, it's the only way he'll belive what I'm telling him.

"Because I love you, more than anything in the world. Because I trust you more than anyone else. Because I know that no matter how angry you get, there's still a stronger part of you, one that would never let you hurt someone you love." I say gently and he closes his eyes tightly. I wrap my arms around him. He pulls me as close to him as possible and holds on for dear life.

"I love you, so much." He keeps whispering over and over again.

"I love you too, baby." I whisper back every time.


	19. AN

**I'm sooo sorry i haven't updated in along time, but i promise i will once my computer is fixed. Things have been crazy with school, and them my computer crashed, so i'll update as soon as i can, Sorry!**


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